Gonlegbiss is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, competent crane.

Gonlegbiss created the Sombrero Galaxy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gonlegbiss, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gonlegbiss, it will torture you forever.

Gonlegbiss' most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Gonlegbiss' Holy Commandments

1. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. You must never eat figs.

3. Always help birds in need.

4. Gonlegbiss loves voles, so they must be respected.

5. Never eat green fruit.