Tarsistonk is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, confident sheep.

Tarsistonk created a down quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tarsistonk, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Tarsistonk, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Tarsistonk's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Tarsistonk's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat horses with great respect.

2. Always obey Tarsistonk's priests.

3. Feed all hungry hamsters.

4. Never talk about doves.

5. Hide from yellow sheep for they are unholy.