Bonkhonloop is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, narcissistic lizard.

Bonkhonloop created everything that exists eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonkhonloop, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Bonkhonloop, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Bonkhonloop's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Bonkhonloop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Erect a large copper sculpture of Bonkhonloop on top of all buildings.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Bonkhonloop.