Yogtettilib is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, generous faun.

Yogtettilib created a strange quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yogtettilib, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Yogtettilib, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Yogtettilib's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Yogtettilib's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Retreat if three snakes approach from the north.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Always make sure there are no turtles in a building before entering it.

5. Never bounce in the presence of shrews.