Quilltinfom is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, almighty slug.

Quilltinfom created the planet Saturn five billion years ago.

If you believe in Quilltinfom, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Quilltinfom, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Quilltinfom's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Quilltinfom's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

5. Do not take Quilltinfom's name in vain.