Vadtagnilgen is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, idiotic pig.

Vadtagnilgen created life nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vadtagnilgen, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Vadtagnilgen, he will turn you into a frog.

Vadtagnilgen's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Vadtagnilgen's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if seven monkeys approach from the east.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Feed all hungry ducks.

5. Do not wear orange clothing.