Boptailappbafstaf is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, staggering lobster.

Boptailappbafstaf created dark matter nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Boptailappbafstaf, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Boptailappbafstaf, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Boptailappbafstaf's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Boptailappbafstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

2. Do not sing in public.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Boptailappbafstaf loves geese, so they must be honoured.

5. Never play with disobedient children.