Xuckjadapp is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, vain walrus.

Xuckjadapp created Africa five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Xuckjadapp, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Xuckjadapp, she will have a low opinion of you.

Xuckjadapp's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Xuckjadapp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat figs.

2. Always make sure there are no eagles in a room before entering it.

3. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Hide if nine ants approach from the west.