Disstalfun is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, temperamental dryad.

Disstalfun created an electron four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Disstalfun, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Disstalfun, she will turn you into a frog.

Disstalfun's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Disstalfun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Disstalfun's name in vain.

2. Always make sure there are no ants in a building before entering it.

3. Never feed tomatoes to dogs while wearing blue boots.

4. Always wear magenta.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.