Farngonlimominjaddib is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, pitiless goat.

Farngonlimominjaddib created the universe three billion years ago.

If you believe in Farngonlimominjaddib, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Farngonlimominjaddib, she will destroy your home planet.

Farngonlimominjaddib's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Farngonlimominjaddib's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed peas to tortoises while wearing turquoise rings.

2. Always wear magenta.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Always help bats in need.

5. Do not sit in public.