Begtigpakmipbellsterpin is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, humorless snake.

Begtigpakmipbellsterpin created the Andromeda Galaxy two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Begtigpakmipbellsterpin, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Begtigpakmipbellsterpin, it will turn you into a rock.

Begtigpakmipbellsterpin's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Begtigpakmipbellsterpin's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into green rooms.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Always obey Begtigpakmipbellsterpin's priests.

4. Put Begtigpakmipbellsterpin first in all things.

5. Run away if four sheep approach from the east.