Wattipkamarp is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, caring chicken.

Wattipkamarp created a strange quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wattipkamarp, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Wattipkamarp, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Wattipkamarp's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Wattipkamarp's Holy Commandments

1. Erect five iron sculptures of Wattipkamarp on top of important buildings.

2. Do not drink water in violet rooms.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Run away if seven squirrels approach from the west.