Campomtag Wipzedkem is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, compassionate rat.

Campomtag Wipzedkem created dark energy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Campomtag Wipzedkem, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Campomtag Wipzedkem, he will jump up and down on your head.

Campomtag Wipzedkem's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Campomtag Wipzedkem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Never think ill of sick aardvarks.

3. Do not speak about pineapples.

4. Never laugh in holy places.

5. Do not listen to music.