Flisvanmet is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, strong goat.

Flisvanmet created viruses nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Flisvanmet, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Flisvanmet, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Flisvanmet's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Flisvanmet's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Flisvanmet.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate ducks.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never feed strawberries to sharks while wearing purple hats.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Flisvanmet.