Shavpan is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, merciful meerkat.

Shavpan created Asia two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Shavpan, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Shavpan, he will think nothing of it.

Shavpan's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Shavpan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Always wear cyan.