Disslabgomgutfemsat is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, merciful porpoise.

Disslabgomgutfemsat created Africa two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Disslabgomgutfemsat, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Disslabgomgutfemsat, she will jump up and down on your head.

Disslabgomgutfemsat's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Disslabgomgutfemsat's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the south.

2. Do not dye your hair black.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.