Kabloopteen is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, two-faced bat.

Kabloopteen created a top quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kabloopteen, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Kabloopteen, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Kabloopteen's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Kabloopteen's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into black rooms.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate otters.