Zogmegmeg is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, omnipotent squirrel.

Zogmegmeg created dark energy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zogmegmeg, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Zogmegmeg, she will boil you in a big pot.

Zogmegmeg's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Zogmegmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. You must pray to Zogmegmeg six times a day.

4. Always wear green.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.