Figjonyar is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, effective dryad.

Figjonyar created the Andromeda Galaxy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Figjonyar, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Figjonyar, she will destroy your favourite star.

Figjonyar's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Figjonyar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt tortoises.

2. Never wear skirts.

3. Do not drink water in gray rooms.

4. Always help whales.

5. Do not dye your hair magenta.