Labdinvadrow is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, unthinking dog.

Labdinvadrow created humankind four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Labdinvadrow, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Labdinvadrow, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Labdinvadrow's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Labdinvadrow's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if four doves approach from the west.

2. Eagles are not to be trusted.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Do not covet oxen.