Latwottan is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, bad-tempered fish.

Latwottan created the Whirlpool Galaxy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Latwottan, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Latwottan, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Latwottan's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Latwottan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat carrots.

2. You must love Latwottan.

3. Erect six copper sculptures of Latwottan on top of important buildings.

4. Never go into mauve rooms.

5. Do not wear yellow clothing.