Fitsanlarp is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, two-faced slug.

Fitsanlarp created a charm quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Fitsanlarp, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Fitsanlarp, he will come to you in dreams.

Fitsanlarp's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Fitsanlarp's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Do not wear orange clothing.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Always obey Fitsanlarp's priests.

5. Fast once a month.