Basscemtik is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, loving chicken.

Basscemtik created a strange quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Basscemtik, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Basscemtik, he will destroy your home planet.

Basscemtik's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Basscemtik's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat strawberries.

2. Never eat parsnips.

3. Never talk about black holes.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.