Ruttquagjip is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, awesome elephant.

Ruttquagjip created oxygen four billion years ago.

If you believe in Ruttquagjip, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Ruttquagjip, she will be mildly annoyed.

Ruttquagjip's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Ruttquagjip's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Do not sing in public.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate voles.

5. Do not kill great tits.