Nabtimfom is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, selfish goat.

Nabtimfom created the cosmos three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nabtimfom, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Nabtimfom, he will turn you into a hamster.

Nabtimfom's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Nabtimfom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about lemons.

2. Never talk about gravity.

3. Do not take Nabtimfom's name in vain.

4. Always help turtles in need.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force.