Fagsandjangud is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, contented cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Fagsandjangud created a Higgs boson three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fagsandjangud, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Fagsandjangud, she will ignore you.

Fagsandjangud's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Fagsandjangud's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Fagsandjangud.

4. Run away from magenta bats, for they are unholy.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.