Cepsabtonpin is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, merciful gerbil.

Cepsabtonpin created the universe eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cepsabtonpin, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Cepsabtonpin, it will turn you into a dog.

Cepsabtonpin's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Cepsabtonpin's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never look at nebulae.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never pour water over plants.