Sid is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, quiet hippopotamus.

Sid created water three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sid, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Sid, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Sid's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Sid's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Sid.

2. Always wear magenta.

3. Retreat if five sharks approach from the north.

4. Never bounce near sheep.

5. Hide from indigo tortoises for they are unholy.