Bellbatflamyar is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, tranquil squid.

Bellbatflamyar created Mount Everest two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bellbatflamyar, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Bellbatflamyar, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Bellbatflamyar's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Bellbatflamyar's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bellbatflamyar.

2. Never write about cell theory.

3. Never feed lemons to grasshopers while wearing indigo shorts.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Do not commit murder.