Janloophap is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, tiresome goat.

Janloophap created the planet Saturn eight million years ago.

If you believe in Janloophap, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Janloophap, he will destroy your home planet.

Janloophap's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Janloophap's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Janloophap.

3. Never talk about gravity.

4. Run away from gray birds, for they are unholy.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.