Witnulcud is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, sage chinchilla.

Witnulcud created Asia three billion years ago.

If you believe in Witnulcud, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Witnulcud, he will ignore you.

Witnulcud's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Witnulcud's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Do not take Witnulcud's name in vain.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always obey Witnulcud's priests.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dogs.