Wotnullxuc is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, fast spider.

Wotnullxuc created an atom six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wotnullxuc, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Wotnullxuc, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Wotnullxuc's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Wotnullxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dolphins.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Always look after injured geese.

4. Never talk about planets.

5. Do not chop down trees.