Dibvinbonklarg is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, happy deer.

Dibvinbonklarg created bats eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dibvinbonklarg, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Dibvinbonklarg, she will destroy your favourite star.

Dibvinbonklarg's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Dibvinbonklarg's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Dibvinbonklarg.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

5. Never paint your back blue.