Flabcadjad is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, selfish squid.

Flabcadjad created oxygen nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flabcadjad, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Flabcadjad, it will strike you with lightening.

Flabcadjad's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Flabcadjad's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Pray towards the north.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Run away from red seals, for they are unholy.