Narlimwot Tettiyatbet is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, two-faced rat.

Narlimwot Tettiyatbet created carbon four years ago.

If you believe in Narlimwot Tettiyatbet, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Narlimwot Tettiyatbet, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Narlimwot Tettiyatbet's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Narlimwot Tettiyatbet's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not cook food in pots.