Kennabjan is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, self-assured guinea pig.

Kennabjan created the planet Mars four years ago.

If you believe in Kennabjan, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Kennabjan, he will turn you into a snail.

Kennabjan's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Kennabjan's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention mites.

2. Worship no other gods but Kennabjan.

3. Pray towards the north.

4. Never paint your head turquoise.

5. You must never eat melons.