Arfbapwab is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, ruthless goose.

Arfbapwab created the world three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Arfbapwab, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Arfbapwab, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Arfbapwab's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Arfbapwab's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump in holy places.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

3. You must pray to Arfbapwab nine times a day.

4. Do not speak about gooseberries.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.