Kamlakdodweg is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, ill-tempered crow.

Kamlakdodweg created silver eight million years ago.

If you believe in Kamlakdodweg, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Kamlakdodweg, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Kamlakdodweg's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Kamlakdodweg's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear jumpers.

2. Never wear blue shoes.

3. Kamlakdodweg loves doves, so they must be respected.

4. Do not laugh in public.

5. Do not hurt porpoises.