Vagfotloop is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, narcissistic bee.

Vagfotloop created an up quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vagfotloop, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Vagfotloop, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Vagfotloop's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Vagfotloop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Do not shave your face.

3. Never mention turtles.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.