Stafrullargqueeg is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, dishonest hyena.

Stafrullargqueeg created the Cigar Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Stafrullargqueeg, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Stafrullargqueeg, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Stafrullargqueeg's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Stafrullargqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear fawn.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. You must pray to Stafrullargqueeg seven times a day.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Stafrullargqueeg.