Barnartbess is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, boastful skunk.

Barnartbess created dark matter eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Barnartbess, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Barnartbess, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Barnartbess' most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Barnartbess' Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if nine foxes approach from the south.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never bounce in the presence of horses.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.