Lunwegflow Litwabtip is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, vain porpoise.

Lunwegflow Litwabtip created an electron seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lunwegflow Litwabtip, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Lunwegflow Litwabtip, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Lunwegflow Litwabtip's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Lunwegflow Litwabtip's Holy Commandments

1. Lunwegflow Litwabtip loves swans, so they must be respected.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never mention geese.

4. Never write about black holes.

5. Always help badgers in need.