Ladnutgemveenbugvabmisxem is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, quiet troll.

Ladnutgemveenbugvabmisxem created oxygen eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ladnutgemveenbugvabmisxem, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Ladnutgemveenbugvabmisxem, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Ladnutgemveenbugvabmisxem's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Ladnutgemveenbugvabmisxem's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Ladnutgemveenbugvabmisxem six times a day.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never run near mice.

5. Do not shave your back.