Santiparn is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, uncaring pig.

Santiparn created Africa five million years ago.

If you believe in Santiparn, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Santiparn, he will turn you into a plant.

Santiparn's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Santiparn's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt geese.

2. Do not dye your hair violet.

3. Never laugh near manatees.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate monkeys.

5. Never paint your chest yellow.