Hitbigsaw is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, tiresome bird.

Hitbigsaw created the Black Eye Galaxy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hitbigsaw, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Hitbigsaw, it will send you a sign.

Hitbigsaw's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Hitbigsaw's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about cell theory.

2. Do not speak about oranges.

3. Retreat if eight dolphins approach from the north.

4. Always obey Hitbigsaw's priests.

5. Do not trade with those who eat turnips.