Ominlensom is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, pitiless hummingbird.

Ominlensom created a down quark two years ago.

If you believe in Ominlensom, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Ominlensom, it will boil you in a big pot.

Ominlensom's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Ominlensom's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Always treat swans with great respect.

5. Do not dye your hair red.