Sinquaftan is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, selfish cow.

Sinquaftan created a down quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Sinquaftan, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Sinquaftan, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Sinquaftan's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Sinquaftan's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Sinquaftan loves turtles, so they must be honoured.

5. Never look in ponds.