Jencartigkiparpmidbell is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, loving lobster.

Jencartigkiparpmidbell created a quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Jencartigkiparpmidbell, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Jencartigkiparpmidbell, he will be very unhappy.

Jencartigkiparpmidbell's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Jencartigkiparpmidbell's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Do not hurt great tits.

4. Do not sit in public.

5. Never wear shoes.