Bimtarpban is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, unfair ferret.

Bimtarpban created dark energy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Bimtarpban, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bimtarpban, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Bimtarpban's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Bimtarpban's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Bimtarpban.

2. Pray towards the east.

3. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.