Quartdaglam is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, dishonest crow.

Quartdaglam created the Sombrero Galaxy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quartdaglam, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Quartdaglam, she will turn you into a mouse.

Quartdaglam's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Quartdaglam's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear brown shirts.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

3. Erect a large lead sculpture of Quartdaglam on top of all buildings.

4. Always obey Quartdaglam's priests.

5. Run away from magenta frogs, for they are unholy.